I swallowed.
Then returned to the letter.
The money wasn't taken by me. I kept copies of the records because I was afraid somebody would destroy them. Some of the documents are with this letter, and the complete file is stored safely.
My heart pounded.
I know you might still be tempted to explain why you believed them. Please don't begin there.
I stared.
My daughter knew me.
Even after nine years, she knew exactly what I'd want to say.
Begin with the fact that you didn't believe me.
I lowered my head.
Then whispered, "I'm sorry."
The grandmother heard.
She didn't respond.
I kept reading.
I did marry the man I loved. He was kind. He worked hard. And he made me laugh even on the days I missed you so badly I couldn't stand it.
A tear fell onto the table.
We had a daughter. She has your stubbornness, your laugh, and the same habit of asking questions until everyone else is exhausted.
I looked toward the little girl.
She glanced up.
Then smiled.
I tried to smile back.
Her father died when she was six. After that, his mother helped me raise her. You should know that this little girl has never been without love, even when life was difficult.
I nodded slowly.
Then reached the sentence I'd been dreading.
I'm sick, Dad.
My hands began shaking.
The doctors have done what they can, but I don't think I'll be here when my daughter turns nine.
I covered my face.
For a moment, I couldn't continue.
The grandmother reached across the table.
She placed one hand against the letter.
"Take your time."
I shook my head.
"I lost her."
The older woman looked at me.
I continued.
"She was sick, and I didn't even know."
The grandmother's eyes filled.
"No."
I swallowed.
"I would've come."
She studied me.
Then said something I needed to hear.
"She wasn't sure."
The words hurt.
But I didn't argue.
Because I understood why my daughter might have doubted me.
I had come when she was stranded beside a flooded road.
But when her reputation was threatened, I'd chosen somebody else's explanation over her own.
She knew I'd risk my body to save her.
She didn't know whether I'd risk my pride to believe her.
And those were two very different things.
I looked down at the letter.
Then continued.
I don't know whether you've changed. I hope you have.