Yet this woman was standing on my property creating the very problem she claimed to be investigating.
I moved closer, keeping several feet between us.
"Get away from my pool."
She smiled coldly.
"You're in no position to give me orders."
I looked toward the floating bags.
One had begun turning slowly in the water, and something dark was escaping through a tear near the bottom.
My stomach tightened.
"My daughter swims in that pool."
The woman shrugged.
"Then perhaps you should take community health standards more seriously."
I felt anger rise through my chest.
"You're contaminating my pool."
She folded her arms.
"I'm enforcing the rules."
I took out my phone.
"Then I'm calling the police."
Her smile disappeared.
"Oh, don't be dramatic."
She took a step toward me, pulled a folded violation notice from inside her blazer, and shoved it against my chest.
I caught the paper before it fell.
At the top, in thick red letters, were the words IMMEDIATE SANITATION VIOLATION.
Beneath them was a demand for an emergency cleanup assessment of eighteen thousand six hundred dollars.
I looked at the amount.
Then at her.
"You're billing me eighteen thousand dollars for garbage you just threw into my pool?"
She laughed.
"The assessment covers emergency remediation, inspection, and enforcement."
I stared at her.
"You're out of your mind."
Her expression hardened.
"Careful. I can make this much more expensive."
Then she turned toward the gray trash bin.
Before I realized what she intended, she kicked the side of it with her white shoe.
The container rocked violently on its wheels, struck the edge of a patio chair, and toppled sideways. Its lid flew open. Loose refuse spilled across the stone deck, and several pieces slid into the water.
I shouted her name.
She spun toward me.
"Now perhaps you'll learn to respect neighborhood authority!"
I started forward, then stopped myself.
I wanted to grab the bin before more trash spilled into the pool. I wanted to drag those bags out of the water and demand that she clean every inch of the mess she'd created. But I also knew how quickly a physical confrontation could become a dispute about who touched whom first.
So I kept my hands at my sides.
"Step away from my property."
She sneered.
"Make me."
Then another voice spoke from behind the wooden fence.