“No.”
“It doesn't.”
“I know.”
He looked toward Lily.
“But she meant something to me.”
Rachel’s pulse changed.
“How?”
Cole picked up the marker.
Did not touch the jar.
He waited.
Rachel understood.
Permission.
She slowly placed the jar back on the table.
Cole picked it up.
Lily leaned closer.
He crossed out the words LILY’S LEMONADE FUND.
Rachel’s anger returned.
“Hey.”
Cole kept writing.
Large block letters.
When he finished, he turned the jar.
Rachel read:
LILY’S FIGHT
Underneath:
PAID FORWARD FROM MEGAN
Rachel stared.
“Who is Megan?”
Cole put the marker down.
For the first time since arriving, the enormous man seemed unsure of what to do with his hands.
He folded them.
Then unfolded them.
“She was my daughter.”
Was.
Rachel heard it.
Past tense.
Lily heard something else.
“Megan.”
Her expression changed.
Cole noticed.
Rachel looked toward Lily.
“What?”
Lily whispered:
“Cookie.”
Cole closed his eyes.
Just for a moment.
When they reopened, they were wet.
Rachel stared.
Lily stepped around her mother.
“You were crying.”
Cole nodded.
“Yeah.”
“You were sitting by the blue car.”
“Yeah.”
“At the hospital.”
“Yes.”
Rachel looked between them.
“What are you talking about?”
Lily’s voice became smaller.
“He was sad.”
Cole swallowed.
Rachel asked:
“When?”
Lily tried to remember.
“When I had the tube.”
That described too many days.
Rachel frowned.
Cole answered.
“March eighteenth.”
Rachel knew immediately.
Second chemotherapy cycle.
Children’s hospital.
Lily had been admitted for four days because of fever.
Rachel barely left the room.
Except once.
She had gone downstairs to speak with financial services.
A nurse took Lily on a slow walk through the courtyard.
Rachel remembered returning and finding Lily missing one cookie from lunch.
She had assumed Lily ate it.
Cole looked toward the asphalt.
“My daughter was upstairs.”
Rachel’s anger disappeared.
Not replaced by comfort.
By uncertainty.
“What happened?”
Cole’s jaw tightened.
“Cancer.”
Rachel looked at his face differently now.
“How old?”
“Twenty-two.”
Lily frowned.
“That’s grown-up.”
Cole smiled sadly.
“Not to me.”
Rachel’s chest tightened.
“She died?”
Cole nodded.
“That night.”
Lily looked toward him.
The child’s face changed in the way children’s faces sometimes do when they understand death only partly but feel the weight completely.
“I’m sorry.”