I felt something tighten in my stomach.
"What the hell are you doing?"
No answer.
Then came a scraping sound.
A white sandal appeared above the fence.
A pink trouser leg followed.
And before I could believe what I was seeing, the president of the Cedar Ridge Estates Homeowners Association was climbing over my private backyard fence like a burglar who had forgotten that security cameras existed.
She swung one leg across the top.
Grunted.
Caught her blouse briefly on a wooden edge.
Then lowered herself awkwardly onto the patio.
She landed hard enough to stumble.
For a fraction of a second, I thought she might fall.
Instead, she straightened her sunglasses.
Brushed dust from her pink trousers.
And looked directly at me.
There was triumph in her expression.
As though the simple act of getting over the fence had proved she controlled the property.
I stood motionless in the pool.
"You're on camera."
She smiled.
"Good."
Then she pointed toward the water.
"Let everybody see what happens when a homeowner refuses to cooperate with the association."
She bent down and grabbed the blue fertilizer bag.
My eyes moved from the bag to her gloves.
Then back to her face.
"Do not put that in my pool."
She laughed.
"Then you should've opened the gate."
I moved toward the pool steps.
"Put it down."
She dragged the bag closer to the water.
"Your pool has been a neighborhood nuisance for months."
"No, it hasn't."
"You've ignored every compliance notice."
"Because you fabricated the violations."
Her smile disappeared.
For one brief moment, I saw genuine anger.
Then she reached into the top of the bag.
The plastic tore.
Granules shifted inside.
I was already moving toward the shallow end when she lifted the bag with both hands.
"Watch me fix your pool problem!"
She tipped it over the water.
A thick stream of granular lawn fertilizer spilled into my swimming pool.
The blue surface broke into ripples as pellets scattered across the shallow end and sank beneath the surface.
Some floated briefly.
Others disappeared into the water.
I stopped.
For a moment, I could hardly believe she had actually done it.
Then I backed away from the falling material.
"Are you insane?"
She kept pouring.
The bag folded inward as its contents spilled out.
I climbed onto the pool steps, making sure I stayed clear of where the material entered the water.
"Stop!"
She shook the bag harder.
The last granules fell.
Then she threw the empty plastic sack across the patio.
It struck one of my lounge chairs.
She laughed.
"There. Now you have a pool violation."
I stared at her.
My entire body trembled with anger.
"You just contaminated my swimming pool!"