"You were watching houses."
Marcus blinked.
"From my porch?"
"Someone called it in."
"I've been sitting here drinking coffee."
"You're making this harder than it needs to be."
Marcus lifted his eyebrows.
"How?"
Derek stepped forward abruptly.
His boot struck the front leg of the patio chair.
The metal scraped against the concrete.
Marcus grabbed the armrest instinctively to keep his balance.
"Hands up!" Derek shouted.
Marcus immediately raised them again.
"Don't kick my chair."
"Then do what you're told!"
The officer shoved Marcus's shoulder with his free hand.
The chair rocked backward.
Coffee sloshed from the mug and spilled across the newspaper.
Marcus caught himself against the armrest.
For one brief moment, anger nearly overwhelmed his judgment.
He wanted to stand.
He wanted to tell Derek exactly how foolish he was behaving.
He wanted to demand that the officer leave his property.
But he saw Derek's hand settle closer to the holster.
So Marcus stayed seated.
He raised his hands again.
And he spoke in the calmest voice he could manage.
"Officer, I am not threatening you. Stop putting your hands on me."
Derek's jaw tightened.
"You think you can tell me what to do?"
"No. I think you can choose to stop escalating this."
"Wrong answer."
The officer snatched the newspaper from Marcus's lap and threw it onto the lawn.
Several wet pages opened across the grass.
Then he jabbed the colorful toy toward Marcus again.
"This is evidence."
Marcus stared at it.
"Evidence of what?"
"An armed disturbance."
Marcus almost laughed from disbelief.
Instead, he took a breath.
"That's a blue-and-pink plastic water toy."
Derek's eyes narrowed.
"Replica weapons are dangerous."
"Then stop pointing it at people."
The officer's expression changed.
For a moment, Marcus wondered whether Derek might actually understand how ridiculous the situation had become.
But the officer's response was worse.
He leaned forward.
"You're about one second away from being dragged off that chair."
Behind Marcus, a floorboard creaked.
He turned his head slightly.
A teenage boy stood near the porch railing, holding a smartphone.
The boy's name was Evan. He lived two houses down and occasionally helped Marcus carry gardening supplies or wash the family vehicles.