The room seemed to tilt.
“She bought me a gift.”
“Yes.”
“To leave.”
“Yes.”
“And then canceled the job.”
“Yes.”
Graham stood so suddenly the chair scraped backward.
Lila flinched.
He saw.
Stopped.
Not at her.
He walked to the sideboard.
Picked up the spurs for the first time.
Heavy.
Cold.
Perfectly preserved.
He turned one in his hand.
“So she planned to give me these.”
“Yes.”
“After she'd already written Silas.”
“I don't know the exact timing.”
“I do.”
He looked at the workmanship.
“She would have ordered these before.”
Lila nodded.
Graham laughed.
It sounded wrong.
“She was going to send me away.”
“Then decided she couldn't.”
“Without telling me.”
“Yes.”
His hand tightened.
“She bought me freedom and took it back.”
Lila stood.
“Graham.”
“No.”
He turned.
“This is worse.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Because now you cannot make her simple.”
That stopped him.
Lila stepped closer.
“She loved you enough to imagine giving you something beautiful for your leaving.”
“She feared losing you enough to destroy the leaving.”
“Both happened.”
Graham stared.
“You think that helps?”
“No.”
“It makes it harder.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He looked down at the spurs.
“Then we're finally being honest.”
That night he did not sleep.
The following morning Lila found him on the porch before sunrise.
“You're cold.”
“I noticed.”
She brought a blanket.
He refused.
She placed it beside him anyway.
Graham looked at the road.
“What did the job mean to you?”
Lila asked.
He almost told her to leave.
Instead:
“Everything.”
She sat.
Not too close.
Graham continued.
“It was the first thing I chose without asking.”
“My father was dead.”
“Mother had an opinion on every decision since I was twelve.”
“School.”
“Work.”
“Horses.”
“Money.”
“Silas offered me something that was mine.”
His voice tightened.
“When she wrote him, she didn't only cost me wages.”
“She proved I still wasn't allowed to decide who I was.”
Lila said quietly:
“What she did was wrong.”
Graham looked at her.
“You don't have to soften it for me.”
“I won't.”
That sentence opened something.
He looked away quickly.
Lila continued.
“You deserved to choose.”
“Yes.”
“And later?”
“What?”
“You chose to leave anyway.”
Graham's jaw tightened.
“Different.”
“Yes.”
“Still a choice.”
He looked at her.
She was not accusing.
That was worse.
“You're heading somewhere with this.”
“Not today.”
She stood.