Jordan’s eyes watered.
“He’s alive and still doesn’t come.”
“I know.”
“Everybody says that means maybe someday he’ll get better.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
Marcus had no answer.
Jordan threw the basketball gently against the grass.
“At least Maya knows why her mom doesn’t show up.”
Marcus’s chest ached.
He had never thought of grief that way.
Renee’s absence was permanent and brutal.
Andre’s was ambiguous and renewing.
Every missed promise reopened the wound.
Marcus said:
“You’re right.”
Jordan looked.
“What?”
“I have been careful with you because Andre is your father.”
“I thought I was respecting that.”
Jordan stared.
“You can still tell me when I screw up.”
Marcus almost smiled.
“I’m sure I can arrange that.”
Jordan’s mouth twitched.
Then:
“Do you want to be my dad?”
The question was not fair to any adult at six forty in the morning.
Marcus answered anyway.
“I want to be one of the adults you can depend on.”
Jordan frowned.
“That sounds like therapy.”
Marcus laughed softly.
“It does.”
He tried again.
“I love you.”
“I don’t need you to stop loving Andre.”
“I don’t need a title.”
“But yes.”
“If you mean do I want the responsibility that comes with loving you like my son, yes.”
Jordan looked down.
“Even if Mom leaves?”
Marcus’s eyes burned.
“Yes.”
“How?”
“We’ll figure that out with her.”
“She can stop me from seeing you.”
“Legally, maybe.”
Jordan looked alarmed.
Marcus immediately regretted bluntness.
“But I don’t think she will.”
“Did she say?”
“No.”
“Then you don’t know.”
Fair.
“I don’t.”
Jordan wiped his nose with his sleeve.
“Gross.”
“You’re crying.”
“I’m not.”
“Your face is leaking.”
Jordan laughed reluctantly.
Marcus reached for the ball.
“You want practice?”
“Now?”
“You said I forget.”
“You have work.”
“No.”
“What about vacation?”
“Canceled.”
Jordan winced.
“Sorry.”
“Not yours.”
They played until Eli came outside complaining no one invited him.
Then Maya.
For forty minutes, all four of them played HORSE in the driveway.
Camille watched through the kitchen window.
She did not come out.
That afternoon she told the children the truth.
Not every adult detail.
Enough.
“I lied about Maya not wanting to travel.”
Jordan nodded.
Eli looked hurt.
Camille continued.
“I felt angry because I believed you boys weren’t getting enough from me and Marcus.”
“I handled that anger badly.”
“I excluded Maya.”
“That was wrong.”
Maya sat beside Marcus.
Jordan opposite.
Eli leaned against his mother.
Camille looked at Maya.
“I am sorry.”
Maya stared at her.
“Did you want me gone?”
Camille’s face broke.
“No.”
“Then why couldn’t I go?”
“Because I was trying to prove something.”
“What?”
“That your dad would notice the boys more without you.”
Maya’s eyes widened.
Marcus wanted to interrupt.
He did not.
Camille continued.
“That was cruel.”