"I told you there was chili seasoning on the marked fruit."
She coughed again.
Then searched her handbag for a tissue.
"You're insane!"
I gestured toward the warning.
"Ma'am, I specifically told you not to eat it."
She pointed at me.
"You poisoned me!"
"No. The mixture is made from food ingredients, but it's very spicy. If you're having trouble breathing, I'll call medical help."
She stared.
"Don't you dare pretend to care!"
I nodded.
"All right."
She threw the peach toward my lawn.
It landed near the base of the tree.
Then she reached for her phone.
"I'm calling the police."
I glanced toward the walkway.
"That won't be necessary."
She froze.
"What?"
I looked behind her.
"They're already here."
The deputy and county inspector had just approached from the parking area.
They had arrived earlier than expected.
From where they stood, they had witnessed the end of the confrontation.
The deputy looked toward the president.
Then toward me.
"Morning."
I nodded.
"Deputy."
The HOA president spun around.
For the first time, she appeared genuinely frightened.
"What is this?"
The county inspector stepped forward.
He carried a folder containing the recorded survey and project plans.
"We're here to review a boundary complaint."
She straightened immediately.
"Oh."
Then she forced a smile.
"Well, that's excellent. I've been trying to resolve this matter for months."
The deputy looked at the peach on the ground.
"Ma'am, are you feeling all right?"
She glared toward me.
"He put something on the fruit!"
I answered calmly.
"The fruit was marked with a warning. I also told her not to eat it."
The deputy looked at the tag.
Then at her.
"Did you pick that peach?"
She hesitated.
"It was accessible from the walkway."
"That wasn't my question."
She folded her arms.
"Yes."
"Did the homeowner give you permission?"
She looked toward me.
"No, butβ"
The deputy raised a hand.
"All right."