The afternoon of the pool confrontation was a Saturday in late May.
Scottsdale was already hot, with temperatures climbing well above ninety degrees under a cloudless blue sky.
Ava had finished her schoolwork.
Naomi had come over for lunch.
And we'd planned to spend the afternoon swimming before grilling dinner on the patio.
It was supposed to be an easy day.
The kind of day I had worked years to make possible.
At noon, Naomi arrived carrying fresh fruit, lemonade, and a collection of library books she'd found for Ava.
My daughter ran toward her.
“Aunt Naomi!”
Naomi laughed.
“Hey, superstar.”
Ava wrapped both arms around her waist.
“Did you bring the book?”
Naomi raised a paper bag.
“Three books.”
Ava gasped.
“Three?”
“Don't tell your dad. He'll accuse me of encouraging your reading habit.”
I laughed from the kitchen.
“Terrible influence.”
Naomi smiled.
“Absolutely.”
We ate sandwiches beneath the patio umbrella.
Ava talked about school.
Her new art project.
A science lesson about desert animals.
And the fact that her classmate believed a tarantula could be trained to fetch a ball.
Naomi listened with complete seriousness.
I told Ava that if she brought a tarantula into the house, I would be moving out.
She laughed so hard she spilled lemonade on her napkin.
For a moment, I looked around the patio.
My sister.
My daughter.
The mountains beyond the property wall.
The clear water sparkling beneath the sun.
And I felt something I didn't allow myself to feel often enough.
Contentment.
Not because everything was perfect.
Grace was still gone.
There were nights when I missed her so badly that I sat alone after Ava went to bed and wondered whether the ache would ever become smaller.
But we'd built a good life around the grief.
One that Grace would have wanted us to enjoy.
After lunch, Ava changed into her turquoise swimsuit.
Naomi put on a loose white linen cover-up over her summer clothes and settled beneath the umbrella.
I pulled on my navy-blue swimming shirt and black trunks.
Then stepped into the pool.
Ava followed.
We practiced floating.
Played a game where she tried to swim around me without touching my arms.