If you become more patient than we were, good.
If you communicate more openly, good.
If you build a healthier home, good.
If you abandon an old family habit because you finally realize it was hurting people, good.
Honoring your family does not require repeating it.
Sometimes the greatest way to honor where you came from is to take the good forward and let something painful finally end with you.
I Hope You Notice the Ordinary Days
I wish somebody had told me this when I was young in a way I could actually understand.
You will probably remember the big days.
Weddings.
Births.
Graduations.
Trips.
Celebrations.
But your life will mostly be made of Tuesdays.
Ordinary breakfasts.
Driving somewhere you have driven a hundred times.
Sitting beside someone while they watch television.
Making dinner when you are tired.
Standing in the kitchen talking about nothing important.
Do not rush through all of those days while waiting for your “real life” to happen.
That is your real life.
One of the strangest things about aging is discovering which memories stayed.
Often, they are not the impressive ones.
I remember someone's laugh.
A kitchen window.
A song playing in a car.
Your little hand reaching for mine.
Someone making coffee in the morning.
At the time, none of those moments announced themselves as precious.
They became precious because they didn't last.
So take the photograph sometimes.
But sometimes put the phone away too.
Sit there.
Listen.
Notice who is beside you.
You may be standing inside a memory you will someday wish you could visit again.
I Hope You Don't Wait Too Long to Say the Important Things
“I love you.”
“I'm sorry.”
“I forgive you.”
“I miss you.”
“I'm proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
“Can we start over?”
Human beings have a strange habit of postponing the sentences that matter most.
We assume there will be another dinner.
Another phone call.
Another holiday.
Another chance.
Usually there is.
Until one day there isn't.
So don't save every tender word for funerals.
Tell people what they mean to you while they can still hear it.
Call the friend.
Hug your mother.
Ask your father the question you've been meaning to ask.
Sit beside your grandparent and listen to the story you've already heard.
There are many things in life that can wait until tomorrow.
Love should not always be one of them.
I Hope You Build a Life That Actually Feels Like Yours
People will have opinions about what you should do.
Families will too.