I liked knowing she would be waiting near the rose-covered fence when I came outside.
If she seemed sad, I wanted to make her feel better.
If she was frightened, I wanted to stand beside her.
And when she told me that her mother's health had been getting worse, I felt an unfamiliar ache.
Rebecca Quinn had been ill for several months.
The family rarely discussed it in front of us.
But I noticed her resting more often.
I noticed Mara sometimes leaving our games to bring her mother water.
And I noticed Elliot looking exhausted when he thought nobody was watching.
One afternoon, Mara sat beneath the apple tree with her knees pulled against her chest.
I found her staring at the grass.
“What's wrong?”
She shrugged.
“Nothing.”
I sat beside her.
We remained quiet for a while.
Then she whispered, “Mommy might have to go to another hospital.”
I looked toward her.
“Is that bad?”
She swallowed.
“I don't know.”
I wanted to say something clever.
Something that would make her smile.
Instead, I asked, “Are you scared?”
She nodded.
I looked toward the house.
Then back at her.
I had no idea how to fix an illness.
No way to make doctors promise everything would be fine.
But I knew how loneliness felt.
So I moved closer.
“You can come to Grandma's whenever you want.”
Mara looked up.
“Even if you're not there?”
“Yeah.”
She smiled sadly.
“Your grandma likes me more than you anyway.”
I laughed.
“Probably.”
She leaned against my shoulder.
For several minutes, neither spoke.
Then she whispered something I never forgot.
“I wish you were mine.”
I turned.
“What?”
She blushed.
“I mean... I wish you could stay.”
I smiled.
“I'm staying until August.”
She looked toward the trees.
“That's not forever.”
At twelve, forever seemed like something we could arrange if we wanted it badly enough.
I picked up a smooth stone.
Turned it between my fingers.
Then said, “Maybe I'll come every summer.”
Mara looked toward me.
“Promise?”
I nodded.
“Promise.”
She smiled.
And for the rest of that afternoon, we sat beneath the apple tree imagining a future that seemed completely within our control.
We planned to build a garage.