“I'm sorry.”
She almost told him not to be.
Instead:
“Thank you.”
Then came the next question.
“Children?”
Clara heard Martha inhale behind her.
The other women leaned closer without appearing to.
The familiar humiliation rose before Nathaniel even finished.
Clara could have lied.
Or avoided.
Or simply told him no.
Instead she turned fully toward him.
“No.”
Nathaniel waited.
Silence became unbearable.
Clara decided to cut the wound open herself rather than wait for someone else.
“And I cannot have them.”
Martha made that little sigh.
The one that pretended sympathy while enjoying confirmation.
Clara’s face burned.
Nathaniel did not move.
She continued before he could offer pity.
“My husband and I tried.”
“I lost one pregnancy.”
“The doctor told me there would probably never be another.”
“And if there were, it could be dangerous.”
She swallowed.
“So if you're asking because you need somebody to give you more children, I'm the wrong woman.”
Nobody spoke.
Nathaniel turned his head.
Looked toward the wagon.
Five children.
Then back at Clara.
“I already have five.”
The answer was so simple Clara did not know what to do with it.
She blinked.
Nathaniel continued.
“Five is plenty.”
Daniel called from the wagon:
“Papa!”
Nathaniel turned.
“What?”
“Elias says six would be unlucky.”
Elias immediately protested.
“I did not say that.”
“You said the house is full.”
“That is different.”
Nathaniel closed his eyes briefly.
Clara felt laughter rising.