“I know.”
“I swear.”
“I believe you.”
Eliza looked at her.
“Are you angry with me?”
Lena thought.
“Yes.”
Eliza flinched.
Lena continued.
“But not for knowing.”
Eliza nodded slowly.
“What for?”
Lena looked at her.
“For every time you saw me carrying your things and thought that was simply where they belonged.”
Eliza’s eyes lowered.
“For every dress I pressed while you complained that I should be grateful I didn’t have to attend dances.”
Eliza swallowed.
“For every time Mother praised you for being beautiful and praised me for being useful, and you never wondered why one of those sounded like a future while the other sounded like employment.”
Eliza began crying.
Lena almost apologized.
Almost.
She stopped herself.
Eliza needed room to feel discomfort without Lena rescuing her.
That too was new.
Eliza whispered:
“I’m sorry.”
Lena nodded.
“Thank you.”
No instant forgiveness.
No embrace.
But truth.
Dawson drove without pretending he could not hear.
At noon they stopped beside a creek.
Eliza walked toward the water to wash her face.
Lena remained near the wagon.
Dawson offered bread and cheese.
She took both.
He sat several feet away.
“May I ask something?”
Lena looked at him.
“You already are.”
He smiled.
“Why did you choose yesterday?”
“Why not months ago?”
Dawson considered.
“Cowardice.”
She raised an eyebrow.
He continued.
“I kept convincing myself your family had plans.”
“They did.”
“For Eliza.”
“Yes.”
“I knew.”
Lena stared.
“You knew they expected you to court her.”
“I suspected.”
“And still came.”
“Yes.”
“That was cruel.”
“I tried to send a letter to Harold explaining I wanted to speak about you.”
“What happened?”
“He returned word saying he understood perfectly.”
Dawson looked irritated.
“I assumed he did.”
Lena actually laughed.
The sound startled both of them.
Dawson smiled.
“There.”
“What?”
“That.”
“Don’t.”
“I missed it.”
She looked away.
After a moment:
“When did you first think of me differently?”
He looked toward the creek.
“Two winters ago.”
“What happened?”
“You were carrying a calf.”
Lena frowned.
“I’ve carried many calves.”
“This one was half-frozen.”
“Oh.”
“The foreman said it would die.”
“Yes.”
“You told him he could announce death after the calf stopped breathing.”
She remembered.
Dawson smiled.
“You were furious.”
“I was cold.”