Enough.
She continued.
“I was twenty-two.”
“I had no money.”
“I was pregnant.”
“I had just buried the man I loved.”
“My father said if you ever became steady, he would reconsider.”
Mack’s voice broke.
“He didn’t get to decide whether I knew my grandson.”
“No.”
She did not defend Walter.
“He didn’t.”
That answer mattered.
She continued:
“And I didn’t either.”
Mack looked at her.
“You?”
“I could have found you later.”
“I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because every year that passed made it harder.”
She looked toward Eli.
“And because Eli was happy.”
“He had Grandpa.”
“He had me.”
“I didn’t know whether introducing another grandfather who might hate me for keeping him secret would help him or hurt him.”
Mack sat again.
The anger did not disappear.
It changed.
Became grief.
He looked at Eli.
The boy had not spoken.
Mack’s voice softened.
“Kid.”
Eli stared at the floor.
“So you’re my grandpa?”
Mack could barely answer.
“Looks like.”
“Did Dad hate you?”
The question tore through him.
Mack looked at the photograph.
“No.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t.”
Eli’s mother reached for the second letter.
“This is from Aaron.”
Mack froze.
His name was on the envelope.
Dad.
One word.
Mack stared for a long time.
Then took it.
7
The letter had never been sealed.
Walter had preserved it inside plastic.
Mack unfolded it.
Aaron’s handwriting was messy.
Always had been.
Dad,
I’ve written this three times and thrown it away three times. Walter says that means I care too much about sounding right. He says just say what is true.
Mack smiled through tears.
Walter.
Of course.
I was angry when I left. I meant most of what I said. I still don’t want the life you wanted for me. I don’t want to spend every night at a bar or every weekend riding because staying home makes you think too much.
Mack closed his eyes.
The letter continued.
But I was wrong when I said you never cared about me.
Mack could barely see.
I know now you cared so much you turned everything into fear. You were scared I’d become soft. Scared I’d get hurt. Scared I’d leave. So you pushed until I did exactly what you were scared of.
Mack stopped.
Eli’s mother sat silently.
The boy watched him.
Mack continued.
I met someone. Walter’s daughter. She is smarter than both of us and would probably object to me writing that because she thinks flattery is suspicious.