He regretted it immediately.
At the memorial, he called her.
She answered.
“What?”
Still angry.
Eli looked at the river.
“I’m sorry.”
Silence.
Then:
“For what part?”
“All of it.”
“That’s too broad.”
He smiled.
“Grandpa would say listen before getting angry.”
“Your grandfather got angry constantly.”
“Yeah.”
“But he wrote good letters.”
She laughed.
“Come home.”
“I will.”
They did not solve college on the phone.
They reopened the conversation.
Sometimes that is the more important thing.
17
Mack had his first heart attack when Eli was eighteen.
Small.
Doctors called it a warning.
Mack called doctors dramatic.
Eli drove three hours from school after hearing.
He entered the hospital room furious.
“What the hell?”
Mack looked up.
“Language.”
“You smoke cigars.”
“Sometimes.”
“Eat diner fries four times a week.”
“Three.”
“You said four yesterday.”
“Inflation.”
Eli stared.
Then hugged him.
Hard.
Mack winced.
“Heart attack.”
“Sorry.”
Eli sat.
“You scared me.”
Mack nodded.
“I know.”
“Don’t die.”
“I’ll put it on the list.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Eli looked at him.
“I’m not ready.”
Mack understood.
He had not been ready when Aaron died.
Had not been ready when Walter died.
Nobody is.
“Kid.”
“I’m eighteen.”
“Still kid.”
Mack reached for his hand.
“You don’t get ready.”
“That’s bad advice.”
“True advice.”
Eli looked down.
Mack continued.
“When someone goes, there will always be another thing you wanted to ask.”
“Another breakfast.”
“Another stupid argument.”
“Another ride.”
“You don’t beat that by collecting enough.”
“What do you do?”
Mack smiled.
“Show up while it’s available.”
Eli stayed three days.
Mack changed his diet slightly.
Very slightly.
The bikers mocked him for ordering salad.
He threatened violence.
Doctors were unimpressed.
18
At twenty-one, Eli used part of Walter’s trust.
Not for college.
He had attended community college for two years and discovered he preferred building things.
He entered a welding program.
Mack could barely contain his pride.
“You’re going into steel?”
“Maybe fabrication.”
“Bridges?”
Eli smiled.
“Maybe.”
Mack went quiet.
Eli noticed.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Still terrible liar.”
Mack looked toward Walter’s gloves mounted inside a simple glass case in his garage.
“Just thinking.”
“I’m not scared of bridges.”
“I know.”
“You are.”
Mack nodded.
“Some.”
Eli sat beside him.
“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t build them.”
“No.”
Mack smiled.
“Maybe it means you should build them better.”
Eli eventually joined a structural fabrication company.
Safety obsessed.
Annoyingly so.
On his first major project, a supervisor wanted a crew to continue after a temporary brace failed inspection.