“You’re my mom.”
Sarah cried harder.
Emma held her.
Then said:
“I’m scared.”
Sarah pulled back.
“Of what?”
“Everything.”
“That is correct.”
“Mom.”
“I’m serious.”
Sarah took her hands.
“You will be scared.”
“You will make mistakes.”
“You will say things you wish you hadn't.”
“You will lose your temper.”
“You will discover parts of yourself you dislike.”
“You will wonder whether you're repeating people who raised you.”
Emma’s eyes filled.
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”
Sarah understood immediately.
“Grandma Linda?”
Emma nodded.
“And Dad.”
“And you.”
Sarah smiled sadly.
“Me too?”
“You left because you had to.”
“I know.”
“But sometimes I wonder what that did to me.”
Sarah did not defend herself.
The old Sarah might have.
This Sarah waited.
Emma continued:
“I remember feeling like family could disappear in one night.”
Sarah’s chest tightened.
“I’m sorry.”
Emma shook her head.
“No.”
“I don’t mean you should have stayed.”
“I don’t.”
“I just mean I remember how unstable everything felt.”
Sarah nodded.
“That was real.”
“I don’t want my kid to feel like that.”
Sarah looked toward warm windows of house.
Daniel’s silhouette passed inside.
Nora beside him.
David carrying plates.
Aaron laughing with Melissa.
Family had not disappeared.
It had changed shape.
Sarah looked back at Emma.
“You cannot promise your child stability by promising nothing will ever break.”
Emma listened.
“You can promise something better.”
“What?”
“If something breaks, adults will tell the truth about it.”
“We won’t make the child responsible.”
“We won’t use them as messenger.”
“We won’t ask them to choose.”
“We won’t pretend harm is love because acknowledging harm is inconvenient.”
Emma wiped tears.
“What if Aaron and I become like you and Dad?”
“Then I hope you become like us later.”
Emma laughed despite herself.
“That is terrible.”
“No.”
Sarah smiled.
“Your father and I failed at marriage.”
“We eventually succeeded at divorce.”
“Those are different skills.”
Emma nodded.
Sarah squeezed her hands.
“And you are not doomed to repeat us.”
“You get to build your own rules.”
Emma looked toward house.
“Can we tell everyone?”
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
Sarah grinned.
“Oh, Daniel is going to become unbearable.”
He did.
When Emma announced it after dessert, Daniel cried before Sarah finished saying, “She has news.”
Nora laughed.
“You don't even know what the news is.”
“I know that face.”
Emma held up ultrasound photo.
Daniel stood.
Then sat.
Then stood again.
“Oh my God.”
Aaron smiled.
“We had similar reaction.”
David hugged Emma.
Melissa screamed.