I worried that he was using his job to avoid the quiet house waiting for him.
I worried that Lily was spending too much time with babysitters.
And I worried that I was becoming another person Daniel felt he had to manage.
One evening, after he canceled dinner for the third consecutive week, I lost my patience.
"She needs her family, Daniel."
There was a pause.
"I know that, Margaret."
"Then bring her over."
"I'm trying."
"Trying isn't the same as doing."
He went quiet.
I regretted the words almost immediately.
But he had already ended the call.
Looking back, I can see how easy it was for resentment to grow when neither of us knew how to speak about grief without turning it into blame.
I wanted more time with Lily because she was the living connection to my daughter.
Daniel wanted to keep moving because stopping reminded him that Claire was gone.
We were both frightened.
And neither of us knew how to say so.
Then Vanessa entered his life.
Daniel met Vanessa through a colleague about a year after Claire died.
She was polished, organized, and socially confident in ways that seemed to compensate for everything Daniel had become after losing his wife. She worked in marketing and event coordination, managed busy schedules effortlessly, and seemed comfortable taking charge of almost any situation.
At first, I liked her.
She remembered Lily's school activities, sent photographs when Daniel was traveling, and offered to help with the complicated logistics of coordinating visits between our families.
She also appeared sensitive to Claire's memory.
The first time we met, Vanessa told me, "I would never try to replace Lily's mother."
I appreciated hearing that.
She said Claire would always have a place in the family and that she hoped Lily could grow up feeling loved by everyone around her.
Those were exactly the words a grieving grandmother wanted to hear.
When Daniel and Vanessa married, I attended the small ceremony.
Lily wore a beautiful lavender dress and carried flowers. She smiled in the photographs, although I remember how tightly she held my hand when the ceremony began.
I thought she was nervous about the changes in her family.
I didn't question it.
Vanessa began managing most of the household arrangements soon afterward.