Every time he moved, I leaned forward.
Every time someone entered the room, my heart jumped.
By morning, I was so tired that my hands trembled when I tried to open a bottle of water.
At ten o'clock, Wade arrived.
He didn't bring out the toy cars.
He looked at Eli, then at me.
"Bad night?"
I nodded.
The biker placed his bag beside the chair.
"Want me to get you something?"
I shook my head.
"I'm fine."
He looked at my shaking hands.
Then he glanced toward the coffee cup beside me.
"Looks like you could use breakfast."
I tried to smile.
"I'm not hungry."
Wade didn't argue.
He simply said, "I'll be downstairs for a while if you need anything."
Then he sat near the door.
For several minutes, neither of us spoke.
Finally, I said, "I'm scared."
The words came out before I could stop them.
Wade looked toward me.
I stared at Eli.
"I know the doctors are doing everything they can. I know fevers happen during treatment, and I know he's being watched. But every time something changes, I feel like the floor disappears under me."
The biker remained silent.
I continued.
"I'm scared to sleep. I'm scared to leave the room. I'm scared that if I stop watching him for one second, something terrible will happen."
My voice broke.
"And I'm so tired."
Wade looked down at his hands.
Then he said, "You're allowed to be."
I turned toward him.
"What?"
"Scared. Tired. Angry. All of it."
Tears slipped down my face.
He continued quietly.
"Being his mom doesn't mean you have to pretend none of this hurts."
I covered my mouth.
For months, people had told me how strong I was.
They said I was brave.
They said they didn't know how I managed.
I knew they meant well.
But sometimes those compliments felt like another responsibility.
As though admitting I was falling apart would disappoint everyone who believed I was handling things beautifully.
Wade didn't call me strong that morning.
He didn't tell me to keep my chin up.
He simply acknowledged that I was frightened.
I cried quietly while Eli slept.
Wade remained beside the door.
He didn't stare.
He didn't try to comfort me with promises he couldn't keep.
He just stayed until I could breathe normally again.
Later, when Eli began waking, the biker stood.
"Morning, champion."
My son opened his eyes.
"Wade?"
"Right here."
Eli looked toward the bag.
"No racing today."
Wade nodded.
"No problem."
My son reached for his hand.
"Maybe tomorrow."