Kelly washed vegetables.
I managed the stove.
And for one ordinary, wonderful hour, the kitchen was filled with laughter.
After supper, Ava went upstairs to finish her homework.
Kelly helped me clear the table.
Then she glanced toward the photograph of Hannah on the shelf.
“May I ask you something?”
I nodded.
“Of course.”
She looked toward me.
“Do you ever feel guilty when you're happy?”
The question was so precise that I stopped moving.
For several seconds, I stared at the dishcloth in my hands.
Then answered.
“Yes.”
Kelly nodded.
“I thought so.”
I looked toward her.
She continued.
“Sometimes I feel guilty when I have a good day. Like I'm forgetting what happened to me.”
I listened.
She looked toward Hannah's photograph.
“And I wondered whether it was similar for you.”
I took a breath.
“Sometimes I feel like laughing means I'm leaving her behind.”
Kelly's expression softened.
“But you aren't.”
I nodded slowly.
“I know that in my head.”
She smiled sadly.
“The heart takes longer.”
For several seconds, neither spoke.
Then Kelly reached toward the photograph.
She didn't touch it.
Simply looked.
“She must have loved you very much.”
I smiled faintly.
“She did.”
Kelly looked back at me.
“And she would have wanted you to keep living.”
My eyes filled.
For a moment, I couldn't answer.
Then I whispered, “I think so.”
Kelly took a slow breath.
“Jeffrey, there's something I've wanted to tell you.”
I looked up.
She seemed nervous.
Not confused.
Not frightened.
Nervous in the ordinary way people became when the next sentence mattered.
“I love spending time with you.”
My heartbeat quickened.
She continued.
“And I love Ava.”
I swallowed.
“But I'm not trying to take Hannah's place.”
“I know.”
Kelly nodded.
“Good.”
Then she looked directly into my eyes.
“Because I want you to see me as Kelly.”
I stared.
She continued.
“Not the missing neighbor you found. Not the woman who helped your daughter. Not somebody you need to protect from the world.”
Her voice trembled slightly.
“Just me.”
I set down the dishcloth.
“That's who I see.”
She studied my face.
Then smiled faintly.
“Then maybe you should ask me to dinner sometime.”
For a moment, I couldn't speak.
Kelly raised an eyebrow.
“Jeffrey?”
I laughed nervously.
“You've picked an interesting time to become direct.”
She smiled.
“I've waited a while.”
I looked toward the stairs.