“He likes me.”
“He likes trespassing.”
“He misses me.”
The smile disappeared from Rebecca’s face for half a second.
She recovered quickly.
“Probably.”
Lily closed her eyes.
“Tell him I’ll come back.”
Rebecca could not speak.
She reached for Lily’s hand.
Small fingers.
Cool skin.
Lily did not open her eyes.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Tell him.”
“I will.”
Lily slept again.
Rebecca remained beside her for eleven minutes before leaving the room.
She knew it was eleven because she counted everything now.
Minutes.
Milligrams.
Hours of sleep.
Creatinine.
Blood pressure.
Phone calls.
Potential donors.
Negative results.
She walked into the hallway and leaned against the wall.
Dr. Anika Shah was approaching from the nurses’ station.
Rebecca knew the expression.
Doctors developed careful faces for bad conversations.
Not expressionless.
That would be cruel.
Not openly sad.
That would frighten families.
Measured concern.
Rebecca hated that face.
Dr. Shah stopped.
“How is she?”
“Asking about cats.”
“That’s encouraging.”
“No, it isn’t.”
The doctor did not argue.
Rebecca rubbed both hands across her face.
“What happened?”
“Nothing sudden.”
“That means something happened slowly.”
Dr. Shah glanced toward Lily’s door.
“We need to talk again about transplant timeline.”
Rebecca felt her stomach contract.
“We've talked.”
“I know.”
“My whole family got tested.”
“I know.”
“My parents.”
“Yes.”
“My sister.”
“Yes.”
“My brother.”
“Yes.”
“Mark’s parents.”
“Yes.”
Rebecca looked down the corridor.
“My cousin drove nine hours.”
Dr. Shah lowered her voice.
“I know.”
None were suitable.
One aunt had a compatible blood type but uncontrolled hypertension.
Rebecca’s brother passed initial blood testing but crossmatch raised concerns.
Her father had diabetes.
Her mother had reduced kidney function herself.
Rebecca had been eliminated early because of a vascular issue doctors did not believe made donation safely advisable.
Every no felt personal even though everyone explained it was not.
The transplant team kept Lily active on the deceased-donor waiting list.
But Lily’s condition was unusually complicated by the rare disorder that destroyed her kidneys.
Dialysis was buying time.
Not replacing health.
Her body was beginning to show it.
Dr. Shah said:
“Have you spoken with Mark again?”
Rebecca looked at her.
The doctor already knew the answer.
“No.”
“Rebecca.”
“No.”