Then walked outside and looked at my driveway.
The Porsche was parked in the center of its designated space, entirely on my property. It wasn't blocking a sidewalk, obstructing traffic, leaking fluids, or creating a safety hazard.
I looked back at the notice.
The fine was $150.
For a moment, I genuinely wondered whether somebody had made a mistake.
So I called the HOA management office.
A woman named Denise answered.
I explained the notice.
She asked for my address.
Then went quiet for several seconds.
“That's unusual,” she said.
I looked toward the car.
“I thought so.”
She typed something.
“Mr. Vale, I'm not seeing a specific driveway-placement provision supporting that description.”
I nodded.
“Then why was the fine issued?”
There was another pause.
“It appears to have come from a compliance review.”
“Conducted by whom?”
She hesitated.
“Ms. Holt.”
Of course.
I asked for the relevant rule and an opportunity to challenge the notice through the association's established process.
Denise promised to provide the information.
I thanked her.
Then filed the notice with my other property documents.
At that point, I still believed a reasonable conversation would settle everything.
The second fine arrived three days later.
Excessive lawn height.
My grass had been professionally mowed forty-eight hours earlier.
The third fine concerned trash bins.
It claimed I'd left them visible beyond the permitted collection window.
The notice included a photograph.
I looked carefully.
The bins were inside my side gate.
The image had been taken from an angle that made them appear visible through the slats.
The fourth fine was the one that made me sit down and laugh.
Creation of visual tension through display of a luxury vehicle inconsistent with community modesty standards.
The amount was $350.
I read it again.
Then called Denise.
She sounded embarrassed.
“Mr. Vale.”
“Denise, please tell me this is a joke.”
She sighed.
“I understand your concern.”
“What exactly is a visual tension violation?”
There was a pause.
“I haven't located a specific provision with that wording.”
I looked toward the Porsche.
“Then why does the notice say I owe three hundred fifty dollars?”
She hesitated.
“The compliance committee has been reviewing vehicle appearance concerns.”
I took a breath.
“Who is on the compliance committee?”
Another pause.
“Ms. Holt chairs it.”
I closed my eyes.
Of course she did.